Time Heals Everything.

it's been about 4 weeks since he walked away from us and for about 4 weeks i've been pretending i don't care. pretending that we weren't together long enough for him to break my heart. well, he did.

i just haven't admitted it to myself.

the only explanation for my "act" is that i've been rushing the moving on period because it was what everyone around me wanted. in reality i have not moved on but pushed the situation to the side.

i revisit the day he told me that we should just be friends. the words came through the phone and hit me like blows to the face. friends? i have enough friends. i was in shock.

4 weeks later and we aren't even on speaking terms. i think that bothers me the most. the fact that i'm not worth his time anymore but i had sacraficed so much of mine for him, for us.

readers don't be mistaken. i am still focused on my life and career goals but i am only human. my emotions are unexplainable. i am not hurting quite as much as i was a week after the separation but i do feel like he took a piece of me with him when he left.

its funny, i thought i was prepared for another relationship. all the ups and downs. honestly, you can never be prepared to fall for someone. i lost my better judgement with you and at the time i liked it, until it all crashed and burned. my second real heartbreak.

I've tried to hate him but honestly i don't. i refuse to be bitter towards the situation or hold a grudge. i just miss what we had. i know i wasn't with him for long but the time spent felt like a lifetime. breaking up might open the door to new opportunities but he still holds the title for most compatible until i truly move on. it might be another week, or a month. time will heal my wound. i just need to give myself time. the time i deserve.

"although i really love you, i am going to smile because i deserve to. it will all get better with time"
- Leona Lewis, Better With Time